Adia
by Twilight Angel
Summary: One of the pilots are dead... what is the "perfect soldiers" thoughts on this? ... As stated in "goodnight.love" I'm a new author and I don't know what I'm doing! Any suggestions are welcome!


Title

**Title:** Adia

**Author: **Twilight Angel

**Notes:** I wrote this awhile ago but... well 1) I never posted it 2) I never did any notes. One of my friends read it and said she liked it so... I dunno. Comments, criticism. even flames! I need some sorta response!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Gundam Wing I only love the characters! I don't own the song either. It belongs to Sarah MacLachlan (spelling?)

**Warning:** Ummmm... Deathfic.... I think Heero swears... sappy...that's about it.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

_***Adia I do believe I've failed you _

_Adia I know I've let you down _

_Don't you know I've tried so hard _

_To love you in my way _

_It's easy, let it go*** _

*~* Heero*~* 

Duo, I'm so sorry. I knew this would happen. I tried to protect you. Really I did. But that doesn't matter now does it. Cause you're gone. Aishiteru, Duo. It's too late now. But I just want you to know, that is *IF* you can hear me. I love you. I'm so sorry it took this long, too long to tell you. I didn't know how. I've never had feelings before. I tried to show you that I cared. But those situations always ended up being awkward and I'd retreat to my fortress. I had a great wall around my heart. I thought it to be impenetrable. Guess not cause here you are, in my heart. I'll keep you there, always. 

_***Adia I'm empty since you left me _

_Tryin' to find a way to carry on _

_I search myself and everyone _

_To see where we went wrong _

_There's no one left to finger _

_There's no one here to blame _

_No one left to talk to, honey _

_And there ain't no one _

_To buy our innocence*** _

*~* Heero*~* 

Gods has it really been 3 months? 3 months?! You couldn't have been gone that long. You have no idea how torturous it is down here. Yeah I said down here. I know you went to heaven, there's no way God would've rejected you. You know, I've been going through the battle in my mind. Trying to figure out some way I could've saved you… I keep coming up with nothing. But there had to be *something*, *ANYTHING* I even drew it out yesterday but it's no use. There's something I'm not seeing. Maybe Quatre could have done something. Or Trowa. One of us had to have been able to save you. I wish I could talk to them but I don't think they want to talk to me. I mean, I'm still acting like the perfect soldier. Cold, heartless, uncaring, computer obsessed freak that I am. Even though the war ended in that battle I can't even begin to let go of my training. Quatre readjusted fairly quickly and now he's helping Trowa. Wufei is off with Sally somewhere. Never thought those two would be together. Maybe if you were here you could help me adjust. But you're not, and it's my fault. I just figured it out. I froze… me, the perfect fucking soldier. I was so scared for you that I froze. You know me, anything for the mission. I've done some pretty dumb-ass shit. I know I would've been able to do something but I froze… might as well have killed you myself. I'm so sorry Duo. I killed you, didn't I? 

_***'Cause we are born _

_Innocent _

_Believe me, Adia, _

_We are still innocent _

_It's easy, we are faulted _

_It doesn't matter _

_Adia, I thought that we could make it _

_I know I can't change the way you feel _

_I leave you with your misery _

_A friend who won't betray _

_I pull you from your tower _

_Take away your pain _

_Show you all the beauty you possess _

_If you'd only let yourself believe*** _

*~* Duo*~* 

Heero… Do you know I can hear you when you sit there? Thinking for hours at a time? You really shouldn't spend so much time at my grave… Boy does that sound weird. I like you visiting and all but talk about wasting the day away. If you say you're sorry one more time I'll smack you when you get up here! It wasn't your fault already. You couldn't have done shit to save me. I was hopeless… HAHA! You finally admit you're a dumbass! I can't believe it. Shock of all shocks. I think the world's gonna end… Hee-chan please stop being so depressed… NANI!?! Tell me you didn't say that… Oh Heero. You have really *GOT* to stop blaming yourself. You didn't kill me. A machine did. Never thought I'd be finished off by one of those damned mobile dolls but hey what did I know.No! Stop saying that! You did not kill me! Heero! There was *NOTHING* you could do… Hee-chan, don't cry.I heard you when you said you loved me… Now I wish I would've done the irrational thing all those times… saved you from moping around. I bet you thought you hid it so well but I could see how hurt and confused you were. I wore a mask… I could see through a mask. Hmpf… you're even beautiful when you cry. Do you know that? No… how could you… but you are… 

_***That we are born _

_Innocent _

_Believe me, Adia, _

_We are still innocent _

_It's easy, we are faulted _

_It doesn't matter***_

*~*Heero*~* 

Hi Duo. Sorry for not talking to you this past week. I was staying at Quatre's place for a while. He and Trowa finally went through with it. I had to help… Can you believe they actually got married? It was a really nice wedding, as far as weddings go… but for some reason it feels like you knew that. Were you there? I hope you were. Then you would've seen the look on Wufei's face when Sally "caught the bouquet" Quatre is so… sappy. He just had to have the bouquet. Couldn't do without it… but that's Quatre for ya. He's so cute and sweet and innocent like that. Just like you were. I don't get it. How did you two manage to stay so clean even though you fought just like the rest of us? Duo… I wonder sometimes… Can you hear me? I like to think you can… At least I can talk to you now. I know I won't be able to join you when I eventually die… No way would I *EVER* make it into Heaven. It hurts to know I'll never see you again but at least I can talk and hope you're listening. We've switched roles… now I talk and you listen… You always wanted me to talk… You've finally got me talking and I'll never shut up… I promise. 

_***'Cause we are born _

_Innocent _

_Believe me, Adia, _

_We are still innocent _

_It's easy, we are faulted _

_It doesn't matter*** _

*~*Duo*~* 

Heero, that's bullshit and you know it! You're ass is gonna be stuck up here with me. Though I have to say it might be a bit more interesting down there. I mean I'm already going stir crazy. I don't know if I'll last through eternity. Now if you were with me things might be a bit more fun. And when you get up here I'll be expecting you to keep that promise. I'll always be listening.


End file.
